A long while back, BuzzFeed broke down this list of unrealistic sex positions, which I happened to unearth on Pocket recently. Re-reading it made me think of romance novel sex scenes.
Ever read a sex scene in a romance novel and thought, “Huh??? How would that work IRL??” I know I have, many times. It can’t just be me who’s thought an author was describing a triple, double gymnastics routine, not sexy times! It doesn’t happen a lot. For the most part, authors get it right. But every now and then, I read something that leaves me wondering, “hmmm…what is this WTFery?” And don’t get me started on ménage sex scenes! Trying to figure out where all the appendages are has rendered me completely dumbfounded more times than I want to admit…
If I’m confused and trying to puzzle everything out, it distracts me from the story as a whole and what the author is trying to convey between the characters.
Don’t get me wrong, I do realize it’s a herculean task to write sex that, 1) gets readers’ blood pumping and 2) is logistically sound…all while conveying emotion between the characters. If in the name of being original, readers need a Venn diagram and flow charts to figure out who is where and doing what exactly, it’s too damn much.
Share your thoughts and any sex scenes that made you go “hmmmm…” in the comments. (To protect the not-so-innocent, you don’t have to give the name of the book, if you don’t want to.)