We’re all adults here right?
Well then, I’ll just jump right in. Let’s talk about the man rod, the dick, the cock, the shaft…or more specifically the monster schlong, the KING of cocks that are featured characters in Romancelandia.
As a red-blooded heterosexual woman I’d be lying if I said I don’t enjoy the man bits.
But my issue isn’t with real life men’s naughty bits. I’m just going to come out with it– I’m so worn out by romance heroes having to possess an insanely HUGE penis. Whether the hero is alpha or beta, one thing they share in common is that their dick is waaaayyyyy larger than average. Since the average real-life penis is approximately 6 inches erect, I’m going to go out on a limb and say that the monster cock of Romancelandia is perhaps 8-10 inches or larger, with most falling on the larger end of the scale than the smaller.
I’m not against a hero packing some heat but why’s he gotta literally be hung like a horse? A penis that’s 2-4 inches larger than average is most likely bumping up against places it may not belong…GASP! And let’s not talk about when said monster is penetrating another less elastic orifice like the anus or the mouth. Or when there’s more than one monster schlong in the equation (e.g., ménage).
These magic penises defy logic and are able to penetrate a heroine’s every orifice repeatedly with hard, rough thrusts without any discomfort or residual soreness on her part. Every heroine of course has a dripping wet, tight fist of a vagina that easily allows safe and enjoyable passage. That always makes me raise my eyebrows because if he’s huge and she’s got a tight, velvet fist, i.e., virgin-like – vagina, then…oh never mind!! Against all those odds, she orgasms repeatedly then wakes up the next morning to go at it again and again.
I get it…it’s a fantasy. But in too many cases, I’d rather a writer just tell me that everyone is happy and satisfied with the coital act without the excess hyperbole. Regardless of size, shape or girth, if it does the job it’s supposed to do then it doesn’t really matter to me whether the hero has a penis that is average, above average or off the charts BIG. I just don’t need all this unrealistic shit to ruin the tale for me.
Is Romancelandia setting unrealistic expectations in women?? I don’t know, honestly. Shouldn’t the fantasy Romancelandia try to sell be more about emotional intimacy and…uh, romance? Of course, sex is a part of that fantasy for many (myself included), but when did it become ALL about the sex acts, or rather what parts A and B are doing or what size those parts are. When did the shift to readers demanding less romance in their romance and more monster cocks tunneling their way to happily ever after happen?
I’d love to hear from y’all…Share your thoughts in the comments!